Alissa reads to me

I wasn't feeling well this night. I hopped out of the shower and was drained and ready to hit the hay. It was my turn to read to Alissa, but my body just didn't want to. The kids really count on this time with mom and dad at night, so I told Alissa she could come read to me in my bed. I rested on her shoulder and she was so sweet to keep her voice low while she read. If you know Alissa, low is not a setting that we hear often and that's perfectly okay...but that night, she quietly read to me, sweet girl.

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Bangs

Going along with my last post on finding peace, I discovered a pretty great program called Dressing Your Truth. I think I have mentioned it before, but the basis of the program is identifying your true nature and then dressing it to match. It was pretty eye opening to me and really helped me step into my own skin and really validated me from years of self doubt. I've met some amazing girls through this, I am more confident than I can ever remember being and It just helps you be OKAY with who you are, for just THAT.

So while we have felt a little trapped in out lives lately, I decided to make a bold move and cut my own bangs. It's one thing I can control and I love the change. A year ago, I would have never done something like this and if I did, I would be freaking out about it. But I welcome the change, realize hair grows and with the support of some wonderful girls, I feel great about the change.

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Finding peace

The past year or so has been hard. We moved into a new house and had to make some hard choices. Alan and I went through some things that threw us in a loop and I personally dealt with some pretty life changing things. For the first time in my adult life, I felt very alone because I had to separate myself from some friends who had been a big part of my life for many, many years. One friend moved away, another had crossed some lines that Alan and I weren't comfortable with and this little group I had turned to in hard times, no longer existed. It was painful, it was hard..it is STILL hard. Losing something you have known for so long is never easy.

In the midst off all of this, I learned some pretty good life lessons.

#1 I learned that It is not my job to fix what I view as "other people's problems" and even though I may or may not agree with the choices they make, it's their lives to live and their choices to make, no mine.

#2 In realizing that, I realized that I can't keep the stress and drama of others' lives on my shoulders. I get to make the choice each and every day to focus on finding MY own peace and that has brought me a lot of peace. I no longer let others actions, words and drama keep me down. I just simply can't do it anymore.

Those two things have been so valuable in finding peace in my own life. It isn't until you step away from things that cause you stress, that you can find that peace in your heart.

Along the way, I have opened my eyes daily to things that make me feel calm and at peace and here are just a few...

Being out in the warm sun on my deck, finding random hearts that remind me to love my life RIGHT NOW and just for fun...chocolate chip smiles.

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Crazy hair day for Zach

Alan helped Zach with his crazy hair day because I'm happily asleep in the morning when Zach is up and getting ready for school and I'm grateful that Alan grabbed some pictures. At 7:45, when Zach comes into my room to let me know he is leaving, I noticed he's hair looked like it was slicked back with water or something. I thought maybe he had done it on his one but it turns out that he had tamed down the hair Alan helped him with! Zach's got some pretty rad hair though!

That's a big sandwich

I was gone for some reason and Alan made the kids some double decker sandwiches for dinner. They were in heaven, I'm sure!

Picture day

It was picture day at school, which means I have to get a picture of them before they head off to school and then I of course need to pull up the pictures I've taken on picture day for the past few years to see how much they have changed. I love seeing them grow and change, but can it just STOP for now so I can keep them young forever?! I mean, look at Alissa in first grade and her little baby face and Zach's sweet face that it still sweet, but he's growing into a handsome young guy. Stop growing kids...just stop! I love these two!

 

Good buds

I have to say that I love when Zach gets the chance to play with Jordan. It seems like all Zach's friends (and Zach) want to do is play video games. I struggle with is as a mom almost daily. I limit their time at my house, but then they are out the door and I'm pretty sure they just go house hopping and play video games. For so long I wanted Zach to find a group of friends and these boys are truly a great group of kids, but it's like pulling teeth trying to get them to PLAY! With Jordan, it's different. They grab light sabers, hop the fence to the cemetery and PLAY. Jordan came over after school and they made a video of their fun and were sitting giggle on the couch while watching it. I mean, they were just truly happy in that moment and couldn't help but laugh at how silly they were being. THIS is what boys should be out doing...not sitting in front of a screen all day (just venting my own frustrations).

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Hawk Walk

The kids had their Hawk Walk today. I helped Alissa's class by marking off their papers as they came around every lap. Alissa has been gung ho about this for weeks and her friend had forgotten her inhaler, so she ended up walking slowly around the field with her friend. I like that Alissa wanted to be there for her friend and no leave her alone. She did run a lap when Miss Sorensen jogged a lap with some others from her class. She ended up with 14 laps, just over two miles and Zach ended up with 20 laps, just over three miles. It was a fun day for the both of them.

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Zach and Tiss

Tiss is a little prissy thing, but she's getting softer as she ages. She has these moments where she's really sweet and then...well, they stop and she goes on with her little prissy attitude. Alan caught this sweet moment and Tiss looks super happy as I'm sure Zach was to be part of one of Tiss's sweet moments.

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Comphy Cats

These two have a though life...

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Cats

Some times out cats are funny. Tiss likes to some times climb up into the dollar bins in my office, sleep on the fish tank (which she does daily) and give us snotty looks by the front door. Otto likes allow Alissa to dress him up and then look at me like "please get this off of me." We love our cats.

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Summer sunsets

One of the most peaceful things are summer sunsets. We have an AMAZING view and nights during the summer are just awesome. They truly calm my heart and soul!

Last night Alan and I sat (he stood) on the deck and watched a quick sunset and I'm sad that it's getting darker and darker. I don't like it and sometimes feel bad for not liking the change, but I could skip winter and be JUST FINE!

Nightly reading

During the school year, we really try and make bed time a nice calming routine. During the summer when the kids are off playing later, it's more of "okay, time for bed, get in bed" but things calm down during the school year. We start about a 1/2 hour before "bed time" and have the kids brush their teeth and hop in bed. This is the time we read to them. We switch off each night and Zach really looks forward to that time. Alissa likes it too, but I get "are you going to read tonight?" a lot from Zach. It is a comfort for him and I love it. The other night he was playing with Legos while I read and then I walked by his room on another night to see Alan reading to him. Some moments are just so sweet. I love the memories we make each night by spending that one on one time with the kids!

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Tramp time

When bought our first trampoline in our Pleasant Grove house, the kids loved it and couldn't get enough of it. Unfortunately, it blew over into the neighbors yard one night during a wind storm. When we moved into this house, money was tight (still is) but we never got another tramp until this summer and, well, it's been somewhat disappointing because unless we kick the kids out to play on it, it's not really used like it was in PG. One of the times that they actually DO go out is right before bed and it's nice to see them playing together.

Baby Otto

This cute girls loves her cats! She picked Otto up like a baby and his legs were sprawled out on each side of her hip. He will put up with it for a little while (unlike Tiss who would never allow something like this) and because of that, I had to grab some pictures. He's a sweet boy.

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